Today we’re talking about CONFIDENCE — what it really means and how to be confident.
Let’s start with what confidence is not.
Confidence is not puffing out your chest. Confidence is not speaking louder than anyone else in the room. Confidence is not arrogance. Confidence is not thinking you’re smarter, prettier, or richer than anyone else. 🙂
Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s look at the origin of the word ‘confidence’. Confidence comes from the Latin confidere — to have full trust or reliance. The key word is ‘full’ (not ‘partial’ trust). To be confident is to have faith.
When I say “faith” what I’m talking about is akin to the total trust we have in life’s most complex functionings, the stuff we know we have zero conscious control over, the things we gratefully assume will keep on keeping on — like the faith we have in the availability of oxygen in the air we breathe. We don’t stop mid-breath and say, “Wait! If I take a breath now, maybe that guy won’t have enough air!” Or “What if I can’t get enough oxygen today?” Luckily, most of us don’t ask questions like that. We just know or rely on oxygen continuing to flow in and fuel our bodies’ vital functions.
That same kind of trust, or confidence can extend to everything else in life… IF we will just let it. Because that same force that supplies the oxygen and breathes us (call that force “nature” or “spirit” or whatever feels most comfortable for you) is working for us. If you can wrap your head around that, you will have found what it means to be truly confident and you will radiate that confidence wherever you go and whatever you do.
You might be wondering, “Sounds nice, Cort, but what’s that look like in practice?”
To cultivate this kind of reliance, start with this very SIMPLE PRACTICE: Begin asking yourself (as much as possible, and especially when things don’t seem to be “going your way”) :: “If I knew that everything is working out perfectly for me, what would I do now? …where would I go? …what would I say?” An alternative to this question is, “How would I react to [this situation, event, person, etc.] if I knew everything was rigged in my favor? …if I were absolutely certain that what’s happening now is for my benefit?”
As you become more familiar with this practice, you will notice that things do seem to always be “working out” …that you are feeling more confident (trusting) in yourself and in life’s events. And that’s where the magic is …please leave a “YES” comment below if you know what I mean. 😉
photo credit: allef-vinicius