It turns out that my steadfast-since-childhood belief that **setting and achieving goals leads to success** is a total MYTH.
Before I explain what I mean by that, let’s define success. Success is a state of inner contentedness, fulfillment, and awareness; it’s a present-moment realization that all is well and enfolding/unfolding exactly as intended.
This definition excludes any “if this, then” hallucinations — “I’ll be free/happy/worthy when I’m out of debt/change jobs/lose weight.” … et cetera ad nauseam.
It dispels the flawed notion that our well-being is dependent on some force out there.
Almost all of us have been fairy dusted into believing that “success” [happiness, health, wealth, whatever] is only [ahem, ALWAYS] one goal away.
So we set and chase goal after goal. And here’s why this approach always falls short:
1: We don’t reach the goal. This is usually the result of a programming defect, the most prevalent being: a) We perceive our goal as a “future” state or accomplishment… and the “future” is never NOW, so it simply cannot come to pass. b) Some other deeply held subconscious belief is in direct opposition to our goal. Until that opposing belief is cleared, it’s nearly impossible to get the result we’re after.
2: We do reach the goal. This is when we’re supposed to celebrate. We’ve made it! Unfortunately, 99.9% of the time, this euphoric feeling–the rush of achievement, the celebration–is quickly replaced by a loud and incessant NEXT! What’s next?! And we plummet right back into never-enough land, the place where the milepost just keeps shifting and where we’re constantly chasing the promise of something better.
That’s right. I’m probably going against every self-help book in the universe by claiming that goals aren’t the answer. But here’s the thing: Two years ago I completely stopped setting traditional goals (i.e., 4-quadrant “targets”) for myself, and I started focusing instead on what I wanted to feel and on the practices that would enhance those feelings in my life and business.
The “results” were extraordinary. These past two years have been the most radical growth years of my life, in every.single.sense. I’m lightyears happier, healthier, and wealthier. I’m more open, giving, and compassionate. I’m kinder and softer with myself. ((Hearing a deep relief sigh from all you fellow over-achievers out there…))
So, if you have that same nagging always-striving-never-quite-arriving feeling, use these three steps to find YOUR SUCCESS:
1. Imagine. B-storm a list of all the FEELINGS* you want to experience more frequently. Maybe you want to feel peaceful, flowing, radiant, captivating. Anything. Everything. Write it all down.
2. Decide. Determine the PRACTICES that can complement and intensify those feelings. Meditation? Dancing? Morning Pages?
3. Act. COMMIT to 1 new practice that carries you daily in the direction of your dreams. And do it FIRST thing in the morning, every morning. Remember: Rituals = Results.
After a month of consistent practice, your life will TRANSFORM. Guaranteed.
Don’t stop there, though. It’s your life. Your time. Time to be truly successful, to find your way, to EVOLVE…
So, let us hear from you: What one PRACTICE will you commit to every day? Or, what one FEELING are you dedicated to enhancing in your life? Share your GLOW. We need it!
*Remember: It’s always the FEELING we’re after, never the stuff. If we want a higher salary, for example, it’s really the feeling of security or abundance or status that we crave. That’s why the higher salary, being transitory, can never quite fit the bill.
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